complicated much!?!

the thought of being alone seems to run through my mind constantly.  i am a good person but it seems as though every man i meet takes advantage of what they have from me.  like i dont ask much but i tend to just want to be treated like a real woman should. like there are guys that i am interested in and i know that they are interested in me but like i know what they want. i dont understand the reason why some men feel like SEX is one of the main essential parts of a relationship.  nah dude im not sleeping with you.  no time soon dude. you take me for me.  you talk all this hardcore shit and you cant live up to it.  like there are good guys out there but like i cant find him or maybe he as already passed me by. <3 love is complicated. 

Writing Exercise!

    I'm Sorry.  The last words I want to hear from you.  I've given you chances time and time again.  I just don't know you.  I'm still with you.  I should have left your ass the second time you hit me, yet, I stayed with you like a fool.

I don't understand why she is still with him.  I love my sister to death but him beating her is what is going to kill her.  Why do we as women think that abuse means love?

Suicide is the Death of Me.

No sir, I will not be your punching bag, the one you cheat on, the one you lie to, the one you say you're sorry to. I cant take the I'm sorries when you beat me, or the sorries when you cheat, those times I've cried and thought about suicide. The pain, the tears, no joy in the way you love me. You don't love me, you are the death of me and i refuse to allow you to be my death. I'm done. You might not have takin my life physically but you have emotionally and I made that decision myself. Suicide is my death, I will take my own before I allow you to take it for me.

Break the Competition

i sit and procrastinate on the things that i know i need to get done. yet i wonder the purpose of doing these things that are called a necessity in college.   i came to college to learn a trait like no other.  i want to be a lawyer and very successful.  but the devil finds a way to intervene.  i write on my mirrors in my room to keep the faith alive but there is still a darkness inside. wait. wait. wait.  the procrastination will soon break. or will i just break down and cry of the pressure i have put myself under.  what will i do next.  drop out or keep my head high.  i prefer to allow God to take over and show me the best way how.  the best way that i can be what i want to be and not have the devil on my back.  i should hide no longer because i have God on my side.  but why do i still fill this darkest knowing that faith is in my eyes.  i haven't fully agreed with the decisions that God has made in my life, so until then there will be a dark side.  but it's time to let it go, because i belong on the other side.


      Ms.Self Expression

Creative Fiction Excerpt.

"The thought of being alone is a thought that runs through my mind all the time.  Join a club, organization, just do something.  Join a sorority even though my family is torn between two on the yard.  I say dare to be different and not follow what my family wants me to do.  I want a group of friends that will last me a life time, yet it doesn’t seem to happen.
 I decided that it wasn’t going to be a good day.  Everything was so dreary to me like I was high off of that California exotic marijuana.  Darkness, stress, dark purple, dark blues, and greens are all I see. It’s a bad dream that I wish I could wake up from. My GPA is okay, yet not the greatest and I want to do so much with my life.  I need to straighten up in school or drop out one. My life isn’t going as I planned."


***With the that said, many individuals go through depression and don't know how to handle it.  be free. speak your mind.  don't allow anything to hold you back.  you are who you want to be and no one else. ***
           Ms.Self Expression